Vulnerability The Path to Connection

What is it that we seem to be searching for the most in our lives? Could it be connection and belonging? Connection is what gives our lives purpose and meaning. We seek belonging and meaningful connection continuously, however when you ask people about love, they will tell you stories of heartbreak. When you ask people about belonging they will tell you the most excruciating story of exclusion.   Despite our desire for connection, we continually create and cultivate disconnection in a society where judgment is a default setting and separation is created from our drive for self-protection.

What is it that we are protecting ourselves from? And what is it that drives us to move further away from the connections we seek with others and with the planet? What is it that we are trying to hide from the rest of the world? Shame is one of the biggest distractors that we use to keep us from the connections and belonging that we seek. We are so frightened of judgment and disconnection that we keep ourselves hidden so that we don’t have to experience the excruciating pain of separation. The irony is that we create separation the moment we refuse or limit our vulnerability.

Vulnerability is the most accurate measure of courage. The original meaning of the word courage comes from cor, which means heart – to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. Courage is being you, regardless of what that looks like and despite the judgment of others. It’s not having the need to judge or be in defence of who you are. It’s you, telling your story whole heartedly. Having the courage to be imperfect gives you the compassion to be kind to yourself first and then to others. And in vulnerability, you can let go of who you think you should be and just be, YOU. In that courageous moment of total vulnerability, judgment cannot exist and when you are allowing yourself to be seen in totality, you allow for the deepest of connections.

People who fully embrace vulnerability believe that what makes them vulnerable also makes them beautiful. They don’t talk about vulnerability being comfortable or excruciating, just necessary. They have the willingness to say I love you first and do so with no guarantees.

Vulnerability has been misidentified as the core of shame, fear and our struggle for worthiness. I believe that vulnerability is the birth place of joy, innovation, creativity and change. It is where belonging and love are cultivated. Vulnerability is not weakness, it is pure courage and it is our path back to each other.