Heart to Heart

Women are notorious for being over generous with time, kindness, actions and money to everyone else but themselves. And yet when it comes to being generous to themselves, they can be meagre.

What does it mean to be generous to yourself?

To be generous to yourself means being kind and abundant. Imagine you have to go to work but before that time you need to take (1) child to childcare and the other (2) children to school. You run around organising the children’s breakfast, their school lunches and quickly make beds which leaves you no time to wash your hair so you have a bird bath shower and throw on your clothes before running out the door. As you leave your husband says he has forgotten his wallet and if you could you drop it off to him on your way to work. All your actions in kindness have been delivered to the family and children and there is nothing left for you.

This mad rush continues at work and you have just been told that a report has to be handed in to meet a deadline. Your office partner was meant to finish this project with you but at the last minute they asked you to do so they could go to lunch with their friend. You generously say yes and forgo your break and time to nourish your body. By the end of the day, you feel exhausted, hungry, and probably have a slight headache.

Your partner returns home late and asks for their pants to be ironed for the next day as they leave for a flight very early morning. You are thinking to yourself “I have nothing left to give and I just want to sit with a cup of tea”. You love your family very much but by now you are mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. It is like you are a balloon that has no air left. All this giving and generosity has burnt you out.

By this stage your body is going to feel unwell and you may even become resentful to others. Your life will be perceived as stressful, no time and possibly you see no hope in the future. Your cognitive thought process to see the best in things maybe non-existent. It is critical to your health to be generous to you!

So how can you be generous to yourself?

The first step to giving generously to yourself is notice what you are doing and why? Check in your belief systems of why you are being overly generous to others and not you. Is it a symbol of feeling loved and accepted? Is it wanting to overcome guilt? Then it is a matter of showing a readiness to give more to you than is necessary or expected. It is about having time and things more plentiful for you as this will allow you to feel fulfilled, nurtured and definitely give you more energy. Then you can give to others but it won’t exhaust you.

So here are 5 Tips in being generous to your self

Set boundaries – It is important to set your own limits of what you can and can’t, will and won’t do with your family, friends and work. These boundaries will create a guideline for you to know when you need to replenish you

 Say no – when saying no it does not mean you are offending others it is just saying no to that task, situation or experience. This allows you fill yourself in as that makes you feel abundant rather than empty.

 Permission – give yourself permission to take and receive, give yourself permission to feel guilt free, give yourself permission to set boundaries and say no.

Time – set boundaries with time. Ensure you have time for you … and only you doing the things that you love. That might be reading a book, soaking in the bath with no children …. There is 24 hours a day and at least 12 of those hours should be for you

Rest –This is the most generous thing you can do for yourself. Resting can be knitting, walking along the beach, having a catnap, or even having a cuppa with a friend. Generosity on this level is abundant to your core being.

Remember generosity commences with you first! When you do this your mind and body will thank you. Life will be fulfilling and easy. Here is to your plentiful life.

I share this today for all the HEALERS, coaches, mentors, and facilitators who might be needing love and support. I back you up, I cheer you on and I know you can do this. No holding back super souls. In fact, this is for anyone who needs to read this today.

Love to you all

Thank you for being you.

You matter.

You are pure love.

You are loved, loveable, loving and love.

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Love to you,

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